Мамкины заметки

[lanast]

Читать только родителям, а еще лучше, у кого не один ребенок (хотя среди моих ПЧ таких, насколько помню, вообще нет).

Но Я ржаль!!!

Про первого ребенка - почти все правда. Догадываюсь, что и про второго - все будет именно так

сохранить, чтоб не потерять

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN







Your Clothes: 100% правда!!



1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN

confirms your pregnancy.



2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.



3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

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Preparing for the Birth:



1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.



2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,

breathing didn't do a thing.



3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

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The Layette: 110% правда!!!



1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and

fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.



2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard

only the ones with the darkest stains.



3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? (ржу-немогу!!!)

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Worries:



1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up

the baby. угу.. было дело



2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your

firstborn.



3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical

swing.

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Pacifier:



1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you

can go home and wash and boil it. 100% было так!



2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with

some juice from the baby's bottle. Хи-хи! а ведь вполне может быть!



3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

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Diapering:



1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need

it or not. Неее.. до такого абсурда не доходило.. так что переходим к следующему пункту



2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.



3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain

about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

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Activities:



1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby

Story Hour. Это у нас еще впереди.. пока никуда не таскаю. У ребенка должно быть Детство!!!



2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.



3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. (а это и с первым есть и, как понимаю, будет!!!)

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Going Out:



1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call

home five times. Ну не 5.. но раза 3 было.



2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a

number where you can be reached.



3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees

blood.

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At Home:



1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. Пришлось...



2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older

child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. Думаю, так и будет



3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. (да я и от одного готова спрятаться.. и не на немного, а лучше на пол дня!!!)

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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):



1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the

hospital and demand x-rays.



2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for

the coin to pass.



3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

allowance!